Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Danny McBride (With apologies to the actor; his name has a certain alliterative ring that is irresistible)

Nothing spooked Danny McBride. Danny would ride with impunity down the highway, weaving in and out of cars and trucks and buses. Danny loved the rush of wind when he passed a vehicle, bursting through to the other side.

Danny was born with the name Danny, not Daniel. He was often annoyed when - in formal situations - authoritarians would address him as Daniel. Danny often found himself in formal situations, and had taken to preemptively correcting those who took his details.

When Danny was 22 he applied to join the army reserves. The army recruitment lady got his details wrong and enrolled “Daniel McBride”.

When the war came and Danny was pressed into service, he feigned ignorance of his enrollment based on this aberration. This resulted in much consternation by the Sergeant, who called Danny “lily-livered”.

Danny sued for defamation but the case was thrown out. He had chosen to represent himself and did not have any witnesses. Also, it is not against the law to call someone “lily-livered”.

People called Danny a coward and his story was told by the fourth estate. But Danny didn't mind and he didn't have to go and fight.

When the war was over and the changes came, Danny bought a motorbike. He like to drive along the highway with impunity, weaving in and out of traffic.

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